Marrying The Boss’ Daughter
There are many proven methods circulating around that offer plans and advice on how to make a lot of money. There’s the buying real estate for no money down, then fixing it up (which is interesting since I can’t even plug in the toaster without causing a tri-state blackout) and selling it for a huge profit.
There are the investment strategies that allow you, through the wonder of modern technology, to sit at home on your computer and watch your life savings slowly pour into some unknown commodities trader’s pocket. And then there’s those mysterious little oriental guys, surrounded by tall blondes in bikinis, sitting on Ferrari’s and Bentley’s in front of their mansions, telling you that even nerds like you could have all this too. Somehow.
Mostly, they’re a lot of crap. The number one, most favorite way to make lots and lots of money according to my own personal survey that I never took and wouldn’t waste time compiling, is to inherit it. Imagine that! Inheriting money means at least two things - it means that somebody older than you went to all the trouble of working really, really hard, saving his money and putting your name on chunks of it. Secondly, it means you probably grew up rich and never had to work a day in your life for anything. Does it get any better than that? No!
The second most popular way to make lots and lots of money is to win it. I’m not talking about scratching off $5.00 at the local 7-11. I’m talking about the guys who win those Powerball Lotteries for 135 million. Or the guy who spent last night in a dumpster behind Ceaser’s Palace in Vegas before he put his last dollar into Big Bertha and hit 4.5 mill. Don’t you just hate them? I’m especially fond of the guy who crawled across the Mexican/American border on Thursday with $4.00 in his pocket and by Monday he’s hired Lorenzo Lamas to interpret for him at the news conference celebrating his miraculous winning of 25 million in the California Lottery.
In reality, it’s the third way of making lots and lots of money that inspires the most conversations, especially around the third quarter of the super bowl when the beer’s starting to slur your speech just a bit. You won’t find it in any book, there’s no college course for it and as of yet there have been no infomercials trying to sell you the formula for 3 small payments of only $39.99 plus shipping and handling. Stated quite simply this time honored, almost foolproof method is called Marrying the Boss’ Daughter.
You’ve heard of that before, have you? Sure you have. But did you try it? Did you get off your lazy butt, go find yourself a boss’ daughter to marry and sail off into the corporate sunset, bypassing all the traditional, get an education, start at the bottom and work real hard types who sneered as they bowed to your magnificence? No you didn’t. And that’s a good thing because without the rules of how to do this and do it well you’d have probably screwed it up. I know I did.
So here’s the rules:
1) You’ve got to be good at what you do and you’ve got to work really hard. Being the boss’ son-in-law and being good at the highly overpaid job you’ve landed at the top is an unbeatable combination. Let’s hear some gray haired, pipe smoking professor at Harvard Business School argue with that one!
2) Learn early on the difference between son-in-law and son. The son is the blood descendant of the boss. You’re there by some fluke of pheromones and you must never forget that. The son is an obnoxious, rich kid, undoubtedly an idiot, who will feed you to the lions if you stand in his way. And when push comes to shove, it will be you who will be politely asked to sacrifice his blood for the good of the family business.
3) Never, ever cheat on your wife. Enough said about that one.
That’s it really. Not quite enough stuff for a book, or an infomercial, but I’m still working on it. If they would offer a course in Marrying the Boss’ Daughter at business schools enrollment would increase tenfold overnight. Hmmmmmm……
